OK… I thought I was starting to feel better but then everything got horrible again… I woke up nauseous and even more dizzy again; back to square one. I didn’t eat all day, just dinner. First it was because I was too nauseous and then when I started feeling ok enough to eat, I went downstairs and it was just too hot in the house (we are in the 100’s already). So forget that. I had been taking smaller and smaller doses of cannabis to see how little I could take while still getting the nausea relief I wanted because too much and I am high and I sort of am not trying to be high all the time, I would like to be able to just function clear-headed you know? Well I found the right dose yesterday but it was just too hot to go downstairs and cook.
Another gap in my blogging, but why? Well first comes the excuse; I have been relapsing… again. I had been really fatigued after what felt like a week of insomnia and then on Tuesday (the 24th) I woke up crazy dizzy and feeling weak. The sort of dizziness that is not the result of oscillopsia. I had forgotten just how bad it could be so I guess that even though I still have remnants of these symptoms every day, I am actually doing way better than I was last year. The improvements have just been so slow I could hardly notice!
OK, I am alive, I have not been active online though because I have just been so fatigued and all around feeling kind of… slow? Just unmotivated really. I have just been lying around not even wanting to move. I am not sure what it is? It has not been too hot especially since I got my new air conditioner (THANK YOU everyone who donated and helped me raise money, it would have taken me all year to save up that money on my own!). I still feel kind of “groggy” today but I was able to get myself up and a little active, by which I mean, I answered all my backed up emails and I am writing this very short post just to check in.
It has been a rough week or so… Maybe 2 weeks ago I was experiencing a sharp pain in the knuckle of my big toe (right foot). It felt like nerve pain but I just could not justify it as Multiple Sclerosis pain as it was in such a small and specific spot! But I had no other explanation as I had not stubbed it, there was no discoloration, bruising, or swelling. It didn’t even hurt when I pressed on it or bent it which tells me it is not an injury! The pain came in random pulses just like the nerve pain I have had in the past! It went away though so I didn’t give it much more thought but last night? It came back with a vengeance! It was so intense but once again in such a specific, small spot. It felt like someone was randomly squeezing my toe with pliers! This morning it is not so bad but the pain is still there. Now it only feels as bad as it did a couple weeks ago… But last night it was causing me to randomly jump as if someone snuck up behind me and poked me with a needle.