OK, I think it is time for some honesty. For the last two and a half years or so my life with Multiple Sclerosis has taken an interesting turn. I don’t just mean medically, I mean in every aspect of my life because MS affects, well, everything. It’s been overwhelming, more so than usual I mean. My social life has seemingly collapsed and like many others with MS, my financial life is a burning pile of disappointment. The bills just keep coming and they pile up faster than I can make money. I have so many medical collection notices that I don’t bother checking the mail anymore. 9/10 times all I will get is a notice that someone wants money from me. Even worse, my MS has, from the very beginning, slowly chipped away at my independence. Sometimes I can’t help but feel like I can’t do anything for myself anymore! But that is not necessarily true, I have been way worse off in the past and I have seen so many people in much worse positions than I but, that being said, I can still do a lot less than I could before. So all of this has been hard on me mentally and emotionally which I think is partially why I have been so inactive here on my blog and in the MS community (I know many will disagree). Lately blogging about my life with MS seems to remind me of all these things and I think I have been avoiding it to avoid dealing with the reality of my situation.
Multiple Sclerosis; MS; the Monster; the Beast; there are so many names for this disease that people refer to it as. “Oh the monster is showing it’s ugly face again today”, someone might say when experiencing some sort of flare. I have never called my MS anything, it just wasn’t me, I always felt a lot of these names were too… cute? They didn’t do the evil known as Multiple Sclerosis any justice I suppose. For my MS, I called it as it was; my MS. I never called it anything else because nothing really seemed to fit my MS as I experienced it, so no nickname from me.