OK… I thought I was starting to feel better but then everything got horrible again… I woke up nauseous and even more dizzy again; back to square one. I didn’t eat all day, just dinner. First it was because I was too nauseous and then when I started feeling ok enough to eat, I went downstairs and it was just too hot in the house (we are in the 100’s already). So forget that. I had been taking smaller and smaller doses of cannabis to see how little I could take while still getting the nausea relief I wanted because too much and I am high and I sort of am not trying to be high all the time, I would like to be able to just function clear-headed you know? Well I found the right dose yesterday but it was just too hot to go downstairs and cook.
After I talked to a friend I started really wondering if I was experiencing some sort of Klonopin withdrawal. I forgot to mention, I stopped Klonopin (clonazepam) on Sunday (the 22) because my refill would not go through. I wanted off anyways and was down to just one 0.5mg tablet a day so I though I should be fine; my doctor did as well. Well once I did the math I started wondering, see, I had my last dose on the 22, on the 23erd I felt fine but on the 24th I woke up dizzy and nauseous. Among the many side effects of Klonopin withdrawal is weight loss and I have lost 6 pounds in the last week or so but then again I have hardly been eating.
So part of me thinks the “behind the scenes” withdrawal from such a small amount was enough to stress my body enough to relapse because I got a refill yesterday, took some before bed and today? No nausea. Could be a complete coincidence, in fact, it probably is but now I have no idea! So I will just have to taper off very slowly; full tab, half a tab, quarter tab…
I have also been reading a bit about the “Overcoming MS” (OMS) program because I know I need to do something to change my entire life around so I will probably start adopting parts of this because they are things that I have always thought that EVERYONE should be doing to be healthy (MS or not). First step will be starting flaxseed oil which is supposedly a better source of omega 3 fatty acids than fish oil. I’ll really go out of my way to avoid saturated fats and try to eat fish a couple times a week. I hate fish but I hate feeling like this even more. Vegetables might be tough with the Lemtrada food restrictions but we will see. All I know is I still have a lot of room to do a lot of little things (that are obviously good for you) that I am not doing now. “The worst thing you can do is nothing” – I believe that things don’t change unless YOU change them, time does not fix everything. as easy as that would be… “Nothing worth fighting for comes easy”.
Something has to change because I am not happy with my life.