I already know the answer to that question but this is what I was asking myself yesterday. You see, I woke up around 3:00 am to use the restroom; just a typical night as I am sure many of you with Multiple Sclerosis can relate to. As I shut off the light and crawled back into bed I had to pause… My vision… Was it just in my head or was it actually just better than usual? I didn’t even notice while I was moving around but I wasn’t leaning against the walls or bracing myself on the counter! No… It’s late… I am tired… Surely this is all in my head… Well, I’ll just go back to sleep and see how things are in the morning.
It has been a rough week or so… Maybe 2 weeks ago I was experiencing a sharp pain in the knuckle of my big toe (right foot). It felt like nerve pain but I just could not justify it as Multiple Sclerosis pain as it was in such a small and specific spot! But I had no other explanation as I had not stubbed it, there was no discoloration, bruising, or swelling. It didn’t even hurt when I pressed on it or bent it which tells me it is not an injury! The pain came in random pulses just like the nerve pain I have had in the past! It went away though so I didn’t give it much more thought but last night? It came back with a vengeance! It was so intense but once again in such a specific, small spot. It felt like someone was randomly squeezing my toe with pliers! This morning it is not so bad but the pain is still there. Now it only feels as bad as it did a couple weeks ago… But last night it was causing me to randomly jump as if someone snuck up behind me and poked me with a needle.
As I have been saying, I am currently relapsing, almost 6 months after my first round of Lemtrada and 7-8 months after I started Aubagio and it’s been getting worse by the day. I am supposed to get my Acthar (alternative to IV steroids) today a couple weeks after my doctor ordered it because come to find out, all his nurse had to do was dial a number and get my doctor to verbally approve the prescription, a 10-minute task at the most but she was “too busy”. Well, my dad did a shift change so he could go into work later and went to my doctor’s office with the phone number and had them call and hey! Instant medication… What a difficult task! I only continued to slip downhill for 2-3 weeks but this is how healthcare is supposed to treat a Multiple Sclerosis exacerbation right? It’s not like it’s time sensitive or anything.… Anyways, as I have been getting worse by the day I have pretty much been resting and doing a lot of thinking. I am angry.