It has Been a Rough Day …

Wow. Today has sucked! I am going to keep this short because
I just don’t feel well.
My day started a little after 5:00am; I woke up with a
killer headache! It sucks but it happens. I got up and drank some water and
took some Advil because that is what I had in my room. I sat there for a while
wondering if I should just get up or go back to sleep. Then I started feeling
nauseous so I took some Zofran and laid back down.
I stared at the ceiling as the nausea grew worse. I have
dealt with nausea many times since my diagnosis but almost never have I thought
“wow, if I move I am going to throw up” but that is all I could think. So I
didn’t move. I just stared at the ceiling waiting fir… actually I don’t know
what I was waiting for.
Around 6:00 I was feeling a little better but my head was
still killing me so I thought “a cold shower will probably help my head a bit”
so I continued to wait because my super sensitive hearing let me know that
someone was in the shower. I heard the faucet turn off and shortly after that
the bathroom was vacated. I sat up, grabbed my “I am about to shower” stuff,
and made my way to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and all of a sudden the
nausea came back. I closed my eyes for a second hoping I could will it to
settle. I took a deep breath and- nope. I threw up.
I never loose my stomach to nausea! It made no sense to me!
Maybe I drank that water too fast? Bad food last night? I have no clue but I
didn’t care because I felt better. I took a shower and went back to bed. I don’t
want to say I was exhausted but I definitely was not ready to get up. When I
did get up a few hours later I felt so dizzy! I could not see strait! I mean my
vision has been bad for the last couple months thanks to Nystagmus and
Oscillopsia but everything was even worse! I could barely walk! So I sat down
in front of the computer, checked my email, my Facebook, watched some Hulu,
read a few articles and that has pretty much been my day.

My head still hurts but not nearly as bad as when I woke up.
I just had some coffee and that helped my head a bit and gave me enough energy
to sit here and write but I am still so dizzy I just… I can’t do anything and
part of me wonders if this is my latest version of “normal”. Will I ever see
and walk straight again or should I already sell my brand new car? Part of me
really feels like giving up, I can’t lie, but then that stubborn part of me
kicks in and I just can’t. I don’t know what to do or what I can do but I am not ready to throw in
the towel as easy as that would be.
By the way, I have been trying to get my blog back in shape so I have no idea when I will resume writing as much as I should because it’s a lot of work going through all the HTML and organizing everything. I hate HTML and now I hate it even more because I am trying to sort through lines and lines of code with this crappy vision. Anyways, be sure to read up on my stuff on

6 thoughts on “It has Been a Rough Day …

  • May 2, 2015 at 10:57 pm

    Hi Matt! I am a student at Loma Linda University, directed to your page by Sharon Pavlovich. First, I want to say thank you for sharing your story and providing quality information to people who are wanting to know more about MS. I am curious to know when you first started this blog and why? Has it changed the way you perceive your condition? Please answer what you feel comfortable with. Thank you!

    Also, I am responding on this post because we are currently studying neurological disorders. One of our classes focuses specifically on the vestibular system which is in the inner ear and helps process and direct vision, balance, equilibrium. Some of the symptoms you are mentioning really made me think of what we are learning in that class. I wanted to ask you if you have seen or considered seeing a PT or OT who specializes in vestibular processing? They may be able to help or at least offer clarity as to what exactly is being affected physiologically.

    • May 6, 2015 at 7:06 pm

      Hi Katie! I started blogging as soon as I was diagnosed. I could not find many people who were open about it; people seemed to keep to themselves and I decided that was NOT going to be me because if we do not talk about a problem it can never be fixed.

      A long time ago I was a PT for vestibular training/therapy but it did not help. Right now I have "vestibular" like issues but it is not actually due to a problem in the inner ear, it's a lesion in my cerebellum, nothing can be done that I have not already tried.

  • May 4, 2015 at 2:59 am

    Dear Matt,

    My name is Jessica Lee and I am currently a OT student from Loma Linda University. I've read through a few of your blogs and all I can say is…wow. But first of all, I really appreciate your dedication and time in putting your blog together. Maybe this is a journal for you to keep track of how your day went, but for us students, this is the perfect learning opportunity. Thank you! To be honestly, I'm not too familiar with the symptoms of MS and how problematic it can be to your daily activities. But by reading your blogs, I think it gave me a clearer understanding of how intense and aggravating the constant dizziness can be. I really admire how you said you are not ready to throw in the towel. I believe in you! Stay strong!


    • May 6, 2015 at 7:09 pm

      Jessica, there are so many symptoms and more often than not I am symptom free but I really screwed myself with this current relapse which is shy I am experiencing such severe side effects. Normally you would never know anything was "wrong" with me haha… And yeah, I can't throw in the towel, there is too much I still want to do!

  • May 12, 2015 at 1:09 am

    Hi Matt!
    I am from Loma Linda University and have been learning a little in regards to MS. Reading your blog post, I was never aware of the extent of the diagnosis. I can tell you have a lot of fight in you! I hope that as you press on each day, your thoughts will wane on giving up! I want to thank you for your time in answering questions and giving us a glimpse into your everyday living. I do have a couple of questions for you:
    1. Do cold showers help you symptoms? Do you choose cold showers over hot, or was this only for this occasion?
    2. Are your headaches caused by MS or the nystagmus and oscillopsia?

    Thank you!

    • May 12, 2015 at 2:38 pm

      Hi! Thanks! OK, cold showers; no indication they help but hot showers DEFINITELY make things worse. I typically take warm showers but warm as in closer to room temperature because who knows. If anything, they help wake me up haha… Now the headache? This time around? It was not related to my MS, just exacerbated it just as a stressful day, heat exposer, or an injury would.


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