Am I Getting Better?

It’s hard to tell; change can be so gradual. My vision still
sucks but when I think back to a month ago and compare myself to now it’s very
different. I am getting around a lot more and trying to do more things on my
own. A lot of that probably has to do with the fact that I have actually been
sleeping!
I have been taking 30mg of Temazepam (Restoril) along with
5mg of Melatonin every night this week and I have been sleeping pretty… well, I
have been sleeping haha. So my mood
and energy level have been better. Then, yesterday, I decided to start taking
Ritalin again to see if I could get more than showering, eating, and sitting at
the computer all day, done. I am supposed to take 5mg twice a day (I wanted
low) but I took 10mg all at once yesterday morning and I felt so great. I got
so much done! Enough to impress the NOT-relapsing
Matt. I took 10mg again this morning so lets see how that does. It seemed to
have lasted till about 8:30 last night or maybe the feeling of being less tired
was mistaken for feeling like I have energy haha. Either way, I was more
productive.

I just want my vision/balance to stabilize! I am getting
around better because it’s probably improved a bit and I have got used to it
but it’s still very limiting. At
least my fine motor skills in my hand seem to be much better making typing
easier. A computer screen is flat so my eyes can easily focus on it well enough
for me to write and read some but if I stare at it to long it makes stepping
away difficult. It’s like my eyes get used to being at a set focus and then
stepping away requires them to start constantly adjusting so I have been trying
to stay off the computer or at least limit my time and instead just walk around
so my eyes constantly have to readjust. Maybe that will speed along the
recovery of my vision? I don’t know but it feels better to not sit down all day either way.

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