Denial; First Relapse in FOREVER!

OK, I was in denial. It was a long drive home, 16 hours or
so (but we did stop and stay at a hotel half way through), and it was a little
stressful. More so because I was thinking of everything I had to do when I got
to California; change of address, go to the DMV to get my new license, find a
new car, buy new insurance, call everyday till an appointment opens up so I can
get in to see my neurologist, switch my prescriptions to a pharmacy out here,
switch all my bills to my new address, close a couple accounts back in Colorado
Springs, update all my credit cards, open a new bank account, figure out if I
am transferring my job out here or finding a new one, updating my SSI
(benefits) information and probably more that I have not thought of yet. I got
home late my first night and I did not sleep well so when I felt like crap all
the next day I assumed it was due to that. The next day (yesterday) I woke up
feeling better but by noon I was feeling worse than the previous day. I slept
most the day and then hung out with a friend when I started thinking, “wow, I
still feel horrible, what if I am relapsing?”
Today I am already not feeling so great. Same as the last
few days; dizzy, poor balance, extremely weak legs (well I feel weak everywhere
but mostly there), no apatite, achy, just… crappy… Even when I scan my eyes to
read what I just wrote I feel dizzy… I was hoping it was just a flare since I
have not had a relapse in over 2 years but this has obviously lasted more than
24 hours so officially? It’s a relapse. I was in denial but I can’t ignore it
any longer, I hate being so dizzy and I hate feeling like I am going to
collapse when trying to walk up the stairs. Hopefully I can get in to see my
neurologist quickly or at the least, maybe he can write me a prescription for
Acthar. That should work great since I have not had it in forever!

Till then I am trying to take it easy, I knew it would be a
rough transition so I need to go slow. The weather alone is horrible! I went
from an average high of 35 degrees Fahrenheit (1 Celsius) to 75F (23C)
overnight! It feels so hot even though a year ago this would feel great! I am
pretty sure this is mostly what did me in… I just need to hurry up and acclimate!
UGH… I didn’t miss this… Oh well, it can always be worse, I am not complaining.

4 thoughts on “Denial; First Relapse in FOREVER!

  • April 24, 2015 at 3:09 am

    Hi Matt,

    I have randomly ran into your blog after looking up MS. Thank you for your blog posts, as they serve as a means of being a lens for those of us who will never come close of knowing your diagnosis and struggle. Keep up the good work and don't stop fighting the good fight!

    – Joe


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