A New Chapter; My Own Place

Well I was trying to keep it a secret from my friend but now
the cat is out of the bag so I can share this online. One of the many reasons I
have been absent online is that I have been so busy; I have been working,
saving, and working on getting a studio apartment in Colorado Springs where my
buddy lives. I got the apartment and I transferred my job to the store located
near my new place. Trying to time everything just right was not easy and kind
of stressful but it has all worked out so far. I move in tomorrow (October 15).
I have been dreaming of the day that I would have my own
place since I was around 16. It’s finally happening and it still has not really
hit me. I don’t think it will until I take my first load of boxes down there
tomorrow, crack a few open, spread some of my stuff around, and take a moment
to sit in the middle of my apartment and just take it all in. The open space,
the image of my things in my own kitchen, and the silence indicating that I
have “the place to myself”. My roof, my rules, my independence. Independence. I
have always been an independent individual and as most of you probably know,
Multiple Sclerosis can take a lot of that away.
If you asked me 2 years ago if I thought (while sitting in a
wheelchair) I would ever have this much independence; living in a different
state, a job, a truck, and my own apartment? I would have said “yeah right”,
but I do, I have it. If you broke my life (in the last 5 years or so) down onto
a timeline, most the events would be evenly spread out across the line until 3
months ago. Starting 3 months ago there would be more on my timeline than the
entirety of the prior 4.5 years. It’s amazing how much has happened in the last
few months and how quickly it has happened.
I am grateful for what I have and what I have been able to
achieve. There are so many people that are less fortunate than me and sometimes
it makes me feel like I don’t deserve what I have. Instead I try to focus on
“paying it forward”. That will forever be my passion in life, the goal I am
striving for; helping others. I want to build up my life so I have more time
and opportunity to try to help in some way shape or form.
I have bad days, I do, but I try to stop and remind myself
where I have come from and how there are a thousand people who would kill to
have what I do now. Then I realize that “it’s not that bad at all”.
So there are many things about having my own apartment that
will make me happy and improve my “quality of life” but above all I will be
most happy to have as much independence as I will. Independence; it’s what I
have been striving for for so many years. I have reached this goal and now
comes the next; with every accomplished goal comes only the next goal.

So soon I will be writing much more regularly again because
soon I will have a desk; a writing spot and as silly as it may sound, it really
does help to have a spot you can go to to write, walk away from those thoughts,
clear your head, and come back to find them exactly the way you left them. I cannot
wait to have a desk again. Anyways, now you know, and very soon I should be
slowly rebuilding my online work. All I need is a new job that offers a steady
schedule. I’ll write soon!

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