My Computer Reminds Me of My MS

I have had a rough few days this week so I have not been online… Things are better now so here I am but still I am having computer issues so I am not as motivated to sit here and type.

Sometimes my computer reminds me of my MS… Let me explain. My body does not work as it should or once did. Sometimes I can get it to work and sometimes it won’t do what I want it to do. My computer is the same way. Sometimes it works and gets the job done but sometimes its just one problem after the other and getting one simple job done takes for ever! It can take so much effort! When my body doesn’t work this often often I don’t like other things in my life to not work smoothly, like my computer, a car, or the washing machine, I just want things to run a bit smoother instead of me having to MAKE everything work much like I have to MAKE my body work. I am tired of trying to fix everything! Of simple things being some kind of battle!

I am slowly trying to get my computer situation handled… I should have a new laptop soon, not a good one, but something I can use to write and skype, that’s it. I bought an external hard drive case so I can use one of my spare hard drives as a giant USB drive and back everything up on to one central location from my laptops and my desktop. Right now I can’t get any of my files off my laptop’s hard drive due to technical issues so once that is resolved I will have everything in one spot. I am hoping the system I will be setting up will make everything run nice and smooth in my computer life!

ANYWAYS, my MS… It is getting warmer and I was pretty stressed out the last few days so of course it effected my MS. My legs have been a little tight and my balance has not been great. When I would be walking or moving around I felt like I had stood up too quick and was blacking out, if you know the feeling. If not I was just getting dizzy easily, that is basically how it felt… Worst of all has been my cognition… It is taking me for ever to think of simple things, to solves simple problems. My memory is just out the window! I feel like a blank slate walking around this world where information is thrown on me without sticking, always just a blank slate, I feel clueless, like I am unsure of what I am myself even talking about… I want to go back to school but how can I like this? I think I will be trying that Luminosity thing soon, in fact, I think I already mentioned that in a previous post….

I have been sleeping in longer than usual. I wake up at about 5:30am to my alarm and then I snooze it for about 30 minutes. Then I lay in bed for another 30 minutes and by time I shower, get dressed, and all that good stuff it is 7:00am (so late I know) and already warming up so going for my morning walk has not been easy… Today I just had to move my legs so I went upstairs and hopped on my recumbent bike for 10 minutes on a heavy tension setting. That felt weird because last I used it I could barely do “4” and now I was able to crank it all the way to “10” and move it with some ease though not for long. Point is, I am definitely stronger then I was 6 months ago, and I have not even been working out for months! So I need to start back up and see where that can get me. It’s just hard when it’s so warm and I am so fatigued throughout the day, even with the A/C blasting.

11 Responses to My Computer Reminds Me of My MS

  1. I have fibromyalgia. I have been feeling more lousy the last few days. Weather change? Who knows? Feel lucky you can ride your recumbent. The thought makes me ache.

  2. Misty says:

    I hate the feeling of being clueless. I can be talking about something and then just all of a sudden loose my train of thought. I can't remeber the names of people, places or things. It can really bring you down, but we need to remember that one day when Christ returns we will not have to deal with MS any more!!! 🙂

  3. Anonymous says:

    summer has landed in New England like a hammer to the head. sucking energy, forcing me to crawl to my bed & sleep several times a day, sometimes half the day. ive never slept this much (is it MS or depression, who knows), sometimes I feel ok, other times I feel weirdly "out of it" after sleeping. sometime I stumbled around after getting out of bed, but recover quickly. when I stand & stretch, I start to fall & feel like I could black out (yikes).


  4. I AM lucky that I can even handle the bike right now, I will say that.

    And yes, that is how I feel with the cognition, CLUELESS!

    Its SO HARD sometimes to fight that urge to just sleep and when I DO sleep all day I often wake up confused as in "Is it time for breakfast?" lol…

  5. Anonymous says:

    my fatique comes on like a slow wave over me, I get to the point that I cant seem to keep my eyes open & have to prop my head up with my hand on my desk, I even sometimes have labored breathing. I don't know if this is how anyone else feels when fatiqued. Im not fatiqued all the time, or even most of the time, but when it washes over me, I have to get to bed eventually. my PCP doc sez it's sleep apnea, but i doubt that, I would be tired more. Also I sleep better now that I don't wake up to urinate 3 times a nite (thx to Apis Homaccord). Im getting fatiqued even as I write this…it's only 11a.m. ugh


    • Anonymous says:

      p.s. I suggest you try foods that give good energy like cashews (I love them), NOT coffee, or energy drinks for fatique, altho I do rarely resort to 1/2 bottle of 5 hr energy which works well


  6. Yeah I sometimes feel my breathing is laboured too… Even if I am not doing anything strenuous… Was not always like that…

    And yeah I try to avoid caffeine, keyword, TRY**…

  7. Anonymous says:

    same here, can feel quite weak also. but u don't feel fatiqued all the time, or even most of the time right? does it just wash over you slowly, occasionally?


  8. Some days I do and some days I dont… I am finding myself napping way more during this summer heat…

  9. Bobby Lewis says:

    hi matt I am new to your blog but I have a lot of problems from ms to copd and fibromyalgia.
    Its become harder for me because im 41 and its
    gotten so hard to except the ms and whats happining to my health I hope to here from u I live in joshua tree and my doc is not helping me yet so I mite need a nu doc my email is and my is bobby72 i think i cant rember now. it happens to me alot lately and I fall alot by for now take care and good luck

  10. Hi! Joshua Tree is not TOO far from me, I am in between Palm Springs and Riverside. I am email you soon!

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