I have had a rough few days this week so I have not been online… Things are better now so here I am but still I am having computer issues so I am not as motivated to sit here and type.
Sometimes my computer reminds me of my MS… Let me explain. My body does not work as it should or once did. Sometimes I can get it to work and sometimes it won’t do what I want it to do. My computer is the same way. Sometimes it works and gets the job done but sometimes its just one problem after the other and getting one simple job done takes for ever! It can take so much effort! When my body doesn’t work this often often I don’t like other things in my life to not work smoothly, like my computer, a car, or the washing machine, I just want things to run a bit smoother instead of me having to MAKE everything work much like I have to MAKE my body work. I am tired of trying to fix everything! Of simple things being some kind of battle!
I am slowly trying to get my computer situation handled… I should have a new laptop soon, not a good one, but something I can use to write and skype, that’s it. I bought an external hard drive case so I can use one of my spare hard drives as a giant USB drive and back everything up on to one central location from my laptops and my desktop. Right now I can’t get any of my files off my laptop’s hard drive due to technical issues so once that is resolved I will have everything in one spot. I am hoping the system I will be setting up will make everything run nice and smooth in my computer life!
ANYWAYS, my MS… It is getting warmer and I was pretty stressed out the last few days so of course it effected my MS. My legs have been a little tight and my balance has not been great. When I would be walking or moving around I felt like I had stood up too quick and was blacking out, if you know the feeling. If not I was just getting dizzy easily, that is basically how it felt… Worst of all has been my cognition… It is taking me for ever to think of simple things, to solves simple problems. My memory is just out the window! I feel like a blank slate walking around this world where information is thrown on me without sticking, always just a blank slate, I feel clueless, like I am unsure of what I am myself even talking about… I want to go back to school but how can I like this? I think I will be trying that Luminosity thing soon, in fact, I think I already mentioned that in a previous post….
I have been sleeping in longer than usual. I wake up at about 5:30am to my alarm and then I snooze it for about 30 minutes. Then I lay in bed for another 30 minutes and by time I shower, get dressed, and all that good stuff it is 7:00am (so late I know) and already warming up so going for my morning walk has not been easy… Today I just had to move my legs so I went upstairs and hopped on my recumbent bike for 10 minutes on a heavy tension setting. That felt weird because last I used it I could barely do “4” and now I was able to crank it all the way to “10” and move it with some ease though not for long. Point is, I am definitely stronger then I was 6 months ago, and I have not even been working out for months! So I need to start back up and see where that can get me. It’s just hard when it’s so warm and I am so fatigued throughout the day, even with the A/C blasting.