Noise Sensitivity, Stress, Frustration

For the last few days I have seemed to be in a “grumpy” mood. At least that is how I FEEL… This was started by my noise sensitivity (I think), it must be getting worse, I hate it… Everything is so loud, startling, and there is so much noise in this house. Cupboards snapping shut, drawers and doors slamming shut, dishes clanking, voices, the TV, I just want to dig my ear drums out with a spoon! It’s almost inescapable! It has become a prison so now I “hide” in my room with my noise canceling headphones on like a bullet proof vest but guess what? If you are shot while wearing Kevlar your not going to die but your still going to the hospital with some broken ribs at the least. I talked to my neurologist about it and he said it is related to spasticity (sensitive startle reflex) and that there is nothing that can be done about it except prevention, avoiding loud noises. Not easy to do in a house of 6 people!

So noise, noise, noise, it’s making me crack, it put me in a bad mood this week and you know how that goes, it’s like an avalanche and after it starts every little thing in it’s path just adds to the mass of it. Little things are effecting me way more than they should. The other day I upped my Citalopram back up to 20mg because the stress is making me feel hopeless, and again, I am just staying in my room and using music as a shield but it’s not always enough, plus, sometimes I just want silence! I hate having to wear these headphones all the time to avoid stress! I just want my own place… My own place, my own rules, my own way of life where cupboards and doors are not slammed shut. I can’t handle this, my heart can’t handle this, I wish I could have an EKG right now, I would love to know if my heart beat is irregular because it sure feels like it! I just can’t wait to go to Ireland and be happy for a while with someone who will make an effort to be considerate of my symptoms.

I think as well I am frustrated because now I am doing better with my health but as always life never moves at the same pace as you do. I am ready to get a job and start my own life back up (or over again I should say) but now life does not seem to be permitting me to do so just yet and it’s hard to be patient when you are ready to go, go, go after a year of doing nothing. I think that is adding to by frustration just a bit… I want a job and I want to earn my own money again! I am so tired of doing nothing all day! I want to be busy with responsibilities once more… — Oh my gosh, I could throw out all the dishes right this second —– Anyways, I am tired of being on a fixed income and having a cap on my bank account, having a cap on my options in life, I just feel so suffocated!

I think maybe I just need to get a map of my life going so that I can feel like I have some direction (this should come to be soon) but right now I am just lost in the unknown and that is not a good place for the mind to be…

10 thoughts on “Noise Sensitivity, Stress, Frustration

  • February 22, 2013 at 5:33 am
    Permalink

    Patience IS the key….im not an expert but sailed that boat on and off for 3 yrs and I'm still here to write about it. Ever tried meditation? It has helped in finding that quiet place for me at least. Or music, very loud music! lol ….but yeah sometimes reinforcing the good makes the bad seem less at times…

    Reply
  • February 22, 2013 at 2:05 pm
    Permalink

    Haha, i cant meditate, cant turn off my brain, music is all i can do, but I get sick of that haha! So, patience….

    Reply
  • February 24, 2013 at 4:47 pm
    Permalink

    Just spent the past day reading every entry in your blog. Very good job. You are a smart guy doing great things for others right now. I know that doesn't change the feeling of wanting to make your own way in life, but you may never realize the profound effect you've had on countless other people by creating and maintaining this blog!

    Just wanted to tell you that I have never seen such an excellent description of noise sensitivity before. I have suffered this for years and I appreciate hearing your neuro's explanation. I too have hyper-active reflexes, and it makes sense about the noise now. Thanks!!!

    Lisa

    Reply
  • February 24, 2013 at 5:39 pm
    Permalink

    Glad you think so! And yeah, it makes sense, still weird though, and oh how i hate it! I want to do an actual video of it soon now that I know what I can do with that software haha :p THANKS!

    Reply
  • February 25, 2013 at 9:10 pm
    Permalink

    That must be (and sounds) so awful for you. (no pun intended)lol Thanks for being so concise with the description, as it makes sense to me. Who would ever go to a regular Dr. to complain about how loud everything seems to be! Once again you are telling an good story about the MS maze and our odd symptoms.

    WE CANNOT CONTROL THE WIND……
    but we CAN DIRECT THE SAIL …..

    Reply
  • March 23, 2013 at 10:09 pm
    Permalink

    Thank you for this entry!!!! I thought I was the only one like this, seriously. I put it under the pet peeve category but then why is mine giving me such a severe reaction? I am able to control myself in all other things that irritate me:) It is literally like a nerve is getting flicked when I hear sharp, sudden noises like: cupboards slamming, silverware clinking, gum cracking, a lot of phone app/game noises do it. It is a physical sensation I feel. That is really hard to communicate without someone thinking you are crazy!

    Reply
  • March 25, 2013 at 1:03 pm
    Permalink

    Oh man, I feel you! I know JUST what you mean on all those sounds and how people just don't get it…

    Reply
  • March 22, 2014 at 5:24 pm
    Permalink

    I know just what you mean too. I've been trying to help my granddaughter by having her live with my husband and me for the past few months but it has been extremely stressful because she has emotional problems and I don't handle stress well anyway. So now I have this sensitivity to noise and I offended my husband because he makes mouth noises when he concentrates and I asked him to stop. I try to read to forget it all, but every sound interferes and it is just so maddening I could scream. HELP!

    Reply

Leave a Reply