Last night I endured a bit of stress, I wont tell you what it was, just about the effects of it, also that it was pretty minimal. Last night my legs got very tight and I had to take some Tamazepam to fall asleep as I just couldn’t stop thinking about this stress. I slept OK but I had a hard time waking up and getting out of bed. My hands were hurting, MS hurting, like all the joints in my fingers, wrists, and even a bit in my elbows were smashed with a heavy press in some sort of factory. The muscles in my back are so tense! It hurts! I took a shower and quickly realized my legs were still pretty spastic, I was walking like a drunk, walking as if I had just finished a 3 mile (4.5 kilometer) hike. Great. This is just how I wanted to prepare for my trip to Ireland! So I did the opposite of what I felt like doing, I got up, grabbed some change, and walked to the bus stop and now I am at a coffee shop across town where the pet store is since I need some fish food before I go. I am so tired of stress and noise.
That’s right, I can’t do it anymore! The loud noises are driving me mad! I should not feel like I am in the middle of a restaurant kitchen when my room is on the other side of the house, my door is closed, and my TV is on. I just want to toss everything made from glass and stainless steel away and buy all plastic as well as put springs on all the cupboard doors. I am not sure why people insist that the cupboards be slammed shut, I close them just fine without excessive force, I don’t understand it, I literally have no comprehension of it. I have moved my life within the confines of my bedroom, I always have the door shut and I almost never come out which is the way it’s going to stay because I can’t handle the noise and since no one understands it there is no real effort to make actual changes and I am tired of my chest hurting so I am disappearing, if I can’t make the noise go away I have to make me go away.