Man, I have so much I want to write about but I can not seem to get on top of my blog! I always feel too overwhelmed (or lazy) to write! I hate it! I could not sit in front of the computer yesterday, it was like I was just too anxious, I could not sit still! So I went outside and worked on my garden area and started getting ready to lay down some stepping stones, I just had to move! Speaking of moving, I have been keeping up with my walking, so that is going well! But man, I hate this noise sensitivity, I wish I could find out some good information on it but so far it is looking like I am out of luck!
Plates, pots, pans, knocking, clanking, clashing, voices, car horns, ticking, tapping, so many sounds! Everything can be so loud and the sudden noises make my heart jump! It can be painful at times! Nothing makes me feel stupider than walking by the road, hearing a car honk, and jumping a mile, almost tripping because the sound just makes my muscles lock up. What the heck? I was not like this before! I had almost no “scare reflex”, I was the guy in the movie theater who did not jump when a scary image accompanied by a loud sound jumped out at the audience and now? The smallest things make me jump! I am so tired of that feeling deep in my chest, sometimes I think “Yeah, my heart is actually going to stop,” it’s kind of pathetic and frustrating at best… So I am still looking into that and when I get my new SD card for my camera I will make a video showing what this symptom is like from my perspective.
I should mention, I have not been working out for months and months. I have been focusing on my walking and gaining some of my weigh back. Now I am getting to the point where I definitely need to start working out again so last night I worked on my “fitness plan” which I will start this evening. I just need to be careful as I am not trying to loose weight… This is tricky… My metabolism is so fast! It is almost like the act of chewing my food is enough to burn all the calories I consume from that very food! I am trying to focus on “being healthy” and “functional” but that is not always easy, sometimes (Well all the time) I am tired of being so under weight! Arg, why does it take so long to change that kind of stuff haha?? Most people want to loose weight and think I am lucky that I loose it so easily but from MY perspective it is just as much of an issue to be underweight as it is to be overweight so I hate hearing that!
That reminds me, calories. Hahaha… So I was watching my calorie intake for a while to see if I was eating enough for my weight goals. I needed like 3,000 calories a day to maintain my weight and when your trying to eat healthy that is hard! I went to Taco Bell yesterday (I never eat fast food but I was hungry and there was no food at home) and my lunch was about 1,500 calories. At home to get 300 calories usually makes me feel stuffed! 1,500 calories and I felt like I could easily eat more! Man! If I was not trying to eat healthy weight gain would be so easy! Oh well! It will pay off in the long run haha!