Months and months I waited for this appointment, finally I get in… And….
Well, let’s just say it didn’t go my way… At all… I went in with the following list:
I am sick of feeling like no one out there, in any kind of position to help, actually cares. My neuro came in and seemed to want to leave before I could finish one sentence… Good thing I had that list because without it I would not have been able to remember a thing because she kept trying to weasel her way out of the room. I don’t see you in months and months and months and you think you can leave in 2 minutes without asking me a single question? I tell you this, this, and that is wrong with me and you don’t bother with any textbook questions or tests? Come on, at least pretend like you are here to do your job… I have been doing this long enough to know who is actually doing their job, who is pretending, and who doesn’t care enough to even pretend due to some egotistical sense of entitlement.
It makes me want to just give up sometimes, to feel like you are fighting a war with no one on your side, it is tough. If it was up to the world I would be left in a dark corner with some Gabapentin and Prozac to just slowly die, well, that is how it feels sometimes, most the time… No one wants to make me better but me and me alone. This is up to me, getting better is on me, I have to learn how to get better and how to “work the system” to get what I need to get better because I am on my own.
So it looks like it is time to start working on the whiteboard to come up with a list of solutions for my list of problems… Alternative treatments, got to try them all and hope that I can find a way to get that stem cell treatment, I need something because the usual, textbook remedies, don’t seem to be helping me causing my doctors to not want to help. If an issue requires actual thinking it is just too much to ask of these “professionals”… Watch me cure myself.