OK, I keep trying to come back online and return to life, I pop my head back in the door, then for one reason or another I take off again. It seems I just can not get my head on strait… I have been depressed… Mourning perhaps… Mourning the loss of my health… The loss of control of my life, of everything… I have just been negative lately but I think I maybe have a hold of it now. Trying to start the week off with a better attitude! I even cut my hair! Fresh start! Again!
I have new things in my life that I should be happy about. I have a new bedroom, bathroom, space to myself, and as mentioned before (I think) I now have SSI (income) which is not much but it is so much more than nothing! Nice that I can swipe my card again! Yes I would rather have a job of my own but I also want a Corvette… Got to be happy with what I have, got to appreciate all the little victories. Things are turning around I suppose but it will just take time to really get my life going again. Multiple Sclerosis has really messed me up this year and we are only halfway through it…
You know what I have not done in for ever? Share my symptoms and medication… So here I go…
Spastisity (legs) – Just stiff enough to make walking difficult. This has been the case for months and months but I have been too distracted by my other symptoms to identify that it is an issue…
MS Hug – Not to bad right now…
Numbness/Pins and Needles in hands – Getting used to it.
Minor Vertigo – Was way bad before, now I really only feel it when I tilt my head too much or move around too fast…
Major Cognitive Impairment – Man I thought it was bad before but now I know what real cog-fog is…
Occasional Ringing in the Ears
Vision Loss – Has been in and out, a few weeks ago I was near blind, now I am not even wearing my glasses…
Itching on Head
Slurred Speech – Has not been too, too, bad but I hate this so much.
Muscle Twitching – Pretty much only at night.
Random Pain – Everywhere
Extreme Fatigue – Has been OK lately, well, under control at least.
L’hermites Sign – Here and there…
Hard Time Hearing
Skin Sensitivity to Cold
Norco (As Needed)
I have cut out most pharmaceuticals and am trying to stick with supplements and soon diet, AGAIN, kind of, I will explain that later… I also bought a new A/C unit for my room so I can stay cool since heat is the enemy for most people with MS. I take cold showers and sit with an icepack on my neck when I need it. Trying to get some exercise back in the loop… It will all take some time and this is definitely all not anywhere near enough… I want to try a few new medications like Ampyra (Dalfampridine)
once I do more research because I am so sick of the whole not being able to walk well thing… I see the neuro in August… So we will see…
I have also been trying to start a fundraiser
to raise money for a stem cell treatment but the timing was bad when I first started it. My mother will be taking over the management of the fundraiser
. Will have more on that as the information comes. The widget on the right side of my blog under my photo has more info, OH! Almost forgot! The stem cells come from ME and donated umbilical cords so nothing controversial here! Anyways the procedure is done in Panama and I know someone who has received several transplants
and she is doing so well!
Oh did I mention? I got behind the wheel of a car! Ba-Boom!
OK It was weird because I have not driven since January but there was a while that I was honestly starting to think I may never drive again. Sure I am in the middle of nowhere and I only drove down a strip of road for 60 seconds but I learned a lot, most importantly, I am pretty sure I will be driving soon. Guess I will have to start saving for that Tacoma after all? So I think that will give me the burst of motivation I need to be positive again, it felt good!