Loosing My Mind Being Stuck Inside!

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Actually, I am loosing my mind over lots of things! I am so sick of being inside, being in this room! I have not REALLY got outside in half a year, I need out! I need my legs back!

What is really getting to me is that I feel stuck in every aspect of my life. I do not have a car and I run out of energy by time my parents get home. So, I am stuck at home. I want to take a class at the community college but like I said, no ride… Stuck at home. I don’t have my own car anymore so even though I know I can drive at this point, I don’t have a car to drive, and I make so little money with SSI that I doubt I could save enough to buy my own car. I hate this, I am stuck.

If I want to run a quick errand I can’t anymore, I have to wait like a week before my parents have time to take me. I have very little independence for a 22 year old, a lot since my first hospital stay, but now that I am doing so much better it is hard to not want more. I feel like I am in hi-school again, always asking for a ride, but I can not even walk anymore, so don’t even have that. Stupid spasticity… I look at myself in the mirror and I look fine, I feel like I should be able to run but I can’t, I am stuck in this body that is not mine.

So I am trying not to stress but I am loosing my mind in this room, I need to get out on my own. I miss driving to see my friend, walking around downtown, eating out, can’t remember the last time I had that. I need my independence back already. Not the ideal financial situation but better… Still feel stuck. No car, never enough money, health sucks, can’t get a job, not sure about school, I want a normal life. Anyways…

13 thoughts on “Loosing My Mind Being Stuck Inside!

  • July 18, 2012 at 3:16 am
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    Do the stem cell trial!

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  • July 18, 2012 at 5:01 am
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    Hello my name is julie and for a lil over a year I've been battleing doctors . They have out ruled everything but MS. I have a lot of the same symtoms as you. I'm very stessed cause I want help but can't seem to get it. I have had 2 flare ups within a year the 2nd one was the worst I couldn't walk . I've had 2 treatments 1000 mg souldrumedrol not sure if its spelled right . The first time was for 3 days the secound time was for 5 days. I'm tired all the time I get weird twitching and I just started experiencing hiccups not sure what that's from but my right side gose numb and tingles all the time I've even lost my vision idk thought mabe you had some addvice

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    • July 18, 2012 at 4:52 pm
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      Yes I have. I've had had several mri's and 2 spinal taps. I had one doctor say I had ms and another doctor said its a possability I have ms. I just wanna cry cause I am tired of being sick but can't seem to get the help I need . I have perminent damage in my right eye from optic nuritis from the first time and the second flare up was the worst it comes so suddenly and the 2nd time I couldn't even walk I had no mobility. Idk I just wanna feel better. My daughter has been doing a lot of research and she found you and so she follows your blogs lol you encourage a lot of people thank you

      Reply
    • July 18, 2012 at 5:08 pm
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      Well if I don't than my suffering is a waste. I would say… Get a new doctor that is not in the same group as your previous. You need to start fresh with better doctors in my opinion….

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  • July 18, 2012 at 4:19 pm
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    What is stem cell? What does it do?

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  • July 19, 2012 at 12:46 am
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    Anonymous,

    You need a referral from a regular neurologist to an ms specialist, even if you have to travel a ways to get there. They get the job done quick. They know what they are looking for. Don't mess around with anything but.

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  • November 15, 2012 at 9:00 am
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    I typed into google, "I am losing my mind over not being able to walk". and your blog popped up.

    Had symptoms for 2 years, don't know if it's MS or not. Had one "clean" MRI. Went to NYU Langone MS Center and they didn't say if I had it or not but they gave a script for 3 mri's of head, neck and spine w/and w/o contrast……….

    I feel so crappy all the time…..

    I am sorry you got stuck w/this crap at a young age. Terrible.

    Reply
  • November 18, 2012 at 1:45 am
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    No LP? In some cases there is nothing on an MRI I hear. At least they are checking neck and spine…. I hope they figure this out for you!

    Reply

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