The holidays are here and that means any time you go out and about you are sure to see some cute little couple holding hands and keeping close together to keep warm. So for us singles out there that means one thing: loneliness. Yeah, yeah, I know, I complain about it a lot but I can’t help it. As a result of my loneliness I signed up for Zoosk, that online dating site, well, it was kind of an accident. Let’s just say you should always be sure that your credit card information is not saved anywhere online because all it takes is one click! Anyways, Zoosk sucks. It’s a joke. It’s a waste of time. 95% of the people signed up don’t actually have a subscription so you can’t talk to anyone! This makes the loneliness even more frustrating! You find someone really interesting and you can’t even talk to them. I would never, ever, ever recommend Zoosk to any of my friends!
But, I was browsing around and I finally got a reply last night… She seemed like a pretty cool girl, we had a lot of similar interests and hobbies so that was cool. We started talking via email and then I made a mistake. I forgot to delete my signature before I clicked send… My signature contains a link to my MS blog… This blog… So of course I had to explain that it was unintentional and that “I had an autoimmune disease but it’s no big deal” (lie). She sent me back a short reply and after that she stopped responding. So I have a new symptom to add to the Multiple Sclerosis symptoms list,
Of course, I want nothing to do with someone who would turn their back on me like that because of my MS but I have to say, it sucks just the same. Feels just like regular old rejection to me… MS has shown me the true colors that so many people have hidden within them and I can’t help but wonder if I appreciate this or not… I was so much happier before this… Ignorance is bliss right? My EX couldn’t handle my MS at first but then we got back together and tried to “work things out”. Now I have to wonder, was that because she truly cared about me or was it because she couldn’t stand to be alone and was just avoiding her own pain? I think this suspicion is confirmed by the fact that as soon as I stopped talking to her she started seeing someone else… I can’t seem to find anyone new myself because keeping this MS BS a secret is tough and I can see a girls interest poof away the moment they learn something is wrong with me.
I know that I will eventually find someone truly special because of this, someone who truly, truly, loves me for me. But it’s so hard… I don’t even want to go outside right now because it hurts to see all these couples enjoying their lives together… It hurts to know that nobody want to hold my hand… I think I enjoyed life much more before I started seeing people this way. Thanks MS, I’m going to be single for a long time I think.