Thought I Was Doing Better But Not So Sure

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 Maybe I was just trying to make myself believe that I was doing better today and maybe I started to actually believe it but I’m not so sure… The other day I noticed that I had also lost my sense of taste. Fun. My vision has been crossing a bit as well but so far I’ve been able to control it. My inability to walk seems to be more of a result of the lack of ordination in my legs than the result of poor balance though my balance is still not that great. I am also noticing some coordination issue with my arms and of course my fingers… So I’m pretty useless right now and I have been going crazy for the last few days as a result of boredom. In fact, I finished reading two novels already! I’ve been doing nothing but sleeping, reading, and listening to music.

Though everything is frustrating walking is the worst  or should I say, trying to walk. I tried doing laundry today and that was no fun… I was getting around the house a little bit easier but it is still very difficult. Nonetheless I tried going out for lunch just a bit ago,  maybe dinner I don’t know, and it went okay but it was still kind of embarrassing. I am using a cane at the moment and I totally almost fell when getting into the car. I also can’t walk very smoothly, my legs either dart in front of me to quickly or can’t keep up with each other making my gate rather funky. Walking feels ridiculous but I wanted to get out and I did despite the fact that it was kind of embarrassing since the only person that has seen like this outside of my family would be my ex-girlfriend…

 I’m going to leave it at that for today, writing is very difficult right now even with this voice recognition software. Thanks for reading!

4 Responses to Thought I Was Doing Better But Not So Sure

  1. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for writing! Keep doning that. And don`t ever feel embarrased for the way you walk! All the best!

  2. Anonyms says:

    Hate to hear ya having troubles. The balance/vertigo issues can really be bothersome. Just being able to function is all we ask.

    Now you could use that "I'm not drunk, I just have MS" shirt..

    The few times I drove with the balance issue I worried getting pulled over and asked to do a field sobriety test… obviously I could pass the BAC (breathalyzer) test, but you could forget walking the line, holding foot up or even exiting the car properly.

    Hope you have a quick recovery from this flare up.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I can so totally relate 🙁 It's so frustrating having this horrible disease at such a young age, especially. You're not a alone in this fight. What kind of treatment are you on? I have been recovering from a relapse for 6 months now. Couldn't drive for 3 because of vision disturbance. I am dizzy all the time, have no coordination. I stumble and run into things. Loss of sensitivity to temps and loss of feeling in hands. I battle extreme fatigue everyday. I feel 80, not 30. 🙁 I too, wish to just be me again…to be productive and help other people , rather than having everyone help me. I just wish other people could understand the host of symptoms we must endure daily.

  4. Matt Allen G says:

    Yeah I could use that shirt right about now….. Lol.

    I can't or shouldn't drive at the moment because of my vision and plus I dont trust my reaction time at the moment. IF I DID get pulled over you could forget me pulling that test off as well. I can barely STAND straight lol…

    This is very frustrating for so many reasons… My body aside I hate how its putting my life on hold… I don't know how to make friends anymore and I can't date, ARG!

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