Well, I may have mentioned before but tomorrow I have a job interview! I am really excited as I have been out of work way to long now… More exciting then possibly having a steady income again, being able to support myself, and officially start my life over from scratch is the fact that if I do get this job I will finally have a sense of actual responsibility in this world again. Sure, it’s nothing serious, a retail job is a retail job, but when it comes to living with something like MS that can take your ability to work away, that daily routine job suddenly seems like a huge source of a sense of accomplishment along with some self-worth that may not have been noticed before the onset of MS in such a “grunt” job as some would call it. Will returning to work after over a year of disability preceded by another of unemployment be difficult? You bet. DO I look forward to it? No doubtingly.
Though I can’t lie… I am very nervous of working with my symptoms… I am in no better shape now than I was during certain points of my “disability benefit days”… My hands are still weak, my fine motor skills are still pretty shot, my vision still comes and goes, I still fight fatigue, and my balance is still not the greatest… Only difference is not I don’t care. Now I just want to work. I am so sick of collecting welfare and hoping that a check will possibly come in the mail. I want to work. I want to work. I want to work. I want to earn my own money and earn my own life. I don’t want to live stuck in the house, I am too young for that, I just can’t do it without going insane!
Maybe working will help my healing process, maybe moving around, working my brain a bit, being social, and seeing that check at the end of the week will be enough to help keep my spirits up and health in check. Who knows? What I do know that if I can keep this possible job I’ll be saving the bulk of what I make but for a new car and possible future relapses but I will still definitely have some money put aside for myself and my relaxing trips up to Forest Falls because that is definitely a source of healing for me! Regardless I think it will just feel good to pick my bills back up and not have to make my parents cover me anymore… Hopefully Ill make enough sooner or later to start “returning the favor” or in other words, pick up some of the slack around here.
I am of course getting a bit ahead of myself, this could just be a seasonal gig that might come and go but since I know maybe 3 or 4 people who work at Sears I am hoping that if I do really well and get good with the managers that I will be able to keep the job or transfer to another store. Fingers crossed! Just wish me luck everyone! Ill post again soon!