UGH! I have had the worst writers block for like this past for ever! The problem with writers block is the less you write the harder it is to write anything longer then a paragraph. The longer you go without writing the harder it is to resume writing! So by not writing I am making it harder and harder on myself to actually write! I think you get the idea, simple concept haha! Anyways, sorry… I used to be so good about writing every day! I don’t know what happened! I know part of it was not feeling good and then being tired, and then school, and then I have been going out lately, and even though that all ultimately made me feel better I think it pulled me away from writing long enough that it made it really hard to get back into the motion of it all. Got to start of light again, just like exercising!
So lately I have been going out a bit more as I have mentioned a few times and been trying to meet some new people. Since I have been getting out more I swear I am feeling so much better again! I mean I don’t feel all super amazing but I feel way better than I have in months! Now I have to be careful here because I want to say that I only am experiencing a few symptoms that are hardly even noticeable BUT I don’t know if that is completely the case or if I am just getting used to my symptoms more and more every day to the point where I feel “normal” now even though 6 months ago I would have said I feel like crap… Hard to tell…
Either way, the only physical symptoms I am really noticing is my sensitivity to cold objects on the right side of my body (which has never gone away since the start), my balance is probably a little out of whack still, and I still notice some fine motor issues in my left hand here and there. Oh, and depending on the temperature or how much strenuous activity I do, I get a little Lhermites Sign here and there. But none of this really even bugs me anymore, so physically the only thing bothering me is that stupid planters wart in my foot that refuses to die! That’s not even MS related! So I guess that’s all good. Still have all the cognitive issues though, that hasn’t got much better and my sleeping patterns are still all super crazy… I kept waking up all through the night last night.. Then I woke up wide awake around 5:30 and stretched out in bed for about half an hour. Then next thing I knew I woke up at 9:30. So between 6am and 9:30 was my best, most consistent sleep I had all night…I feel a little achy today thanks to that but it’s not the end of the world.
By now your probably wondering what I meant in my title about “keeping the MS on the down low”… Well those of you who know me know that I am not in any way shape or form ashamed or embarrassed by my MS (why should I be?) and have always been open to share my experience with anyone. Lately though now that I am going back to school and trying to meet new people I have been keeping it to myself. Again, I am not trying to hide it, but, I am trying to introduce myself to people as “Matt the Photographer” not “Matt the MS Patient” as to better manage my first impression with people. I want to make friends who like me for who I am as an individual not because they feel bad for me or anything like that. Once I get to know people more closely Ill eventually tell them but for now I am keeping it on the down low to see how it all goes haha.
Before I go I’ll explain the top video. We all went out to the desert the other night to try and see the falling satellite (UARS) and though I did not capture it with my camera we did see a piece of it burn across the sky and it was pretty cool! The video is just a collection of images compiled together to basically create a stop motion video of the clouds and stars moving across the sky. Just experimenting so I didn’t have my shutter release button or my laptop to be more consistent with the timing. I was just walking back and forward from our fire to my camera hitting the button here and there which is why the video is not smooth like it should be haha so next time Ill get a more professional shot but I still thought it was cool. That’s what I did the other day. Take care all!