Earlier today I said that I probably would not be online as much for a while because I have not been feeling too well. Well I decided that rather than sitting around doing nothing I might as well do some writing but I just could not concentrate through the pain, heat, and fatigue. So the first thing I did was install my window A/C unit which has been sitting in the garage for ever. Just having a cool environment has made me feel so much better already! I don’t feel as fatigued as I have for the last few days.
Next step: the pain. After researching the effects of Prozac withdrawals I learned that in some cases abruptly stopping some antidepressants or tapering off of them too quickly can cause muscle pains. But I have more joint pain than I do muscle pain so then I thought that this could just be some really bad inflammation, after all, I am no longer on the oral steroids which is like a super anti-inflammatory pill that I have been taking for almost a year now! Now that I am not on the oral steroids anymore I can once again take ibuprofen so I opened up that dusty bottle and took about 800 mg. That was only 20 minutes ago so I’m not sure how much this will help but I have my fingers crossed as this pain has just been so horrible!
Every joint from my knees, elbows, shoulders, knuckles, and back feels extremely stiff and sometimes even tender to the touch. This does not help my lack of coordination or balance one bit… I have been stubbing my toes and bumping my shins into corners which just adds to the pain, frustration, and stress, none of which are any good to me. Hopefully the ibuprofen helps take the edge off but more importantly, hopefully the pain goes away… I’m not sure what the underlying cause is because I am switching and quitting so many medications right now not to mention I have been enduring much stress, heat, and fatigue.
Speaking of antidepressants, I should probably let you guys know that I have slowly been tapering off of my Prozac so that I can try something new. I technically have about a week or two left before I can start a new medication but in the last few days my depression seems to be getting out of control. I cannot maintain the positive attitude that I usually can which has put me in a rather dark place. This and the fact that typing is really hard right now is one of the main reasons I have not been active on my blog or my facebook group for MS… I just have such a negative outlook on life right now and I know people don’t really want to hear about all of that garbage. I e-mailed my doctor today letting him know what’s going on and asking if I could start a new medication quicker. Hopefully he responds tomorrow because this is not the kind of attitude I need to have going into a new semester of school all the while trying to gain control of my health.
On a more positive note, the other day I met with Janice and her family
again! She was in town to participate in a triathlon so we decided it would be good to try and meet again ! She is doing so well! I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous in some way shape or form ha ha! I want so badly to return to that point where I can go hiking and jump from rock to rock or climb trees… I had that for one month and now my health is completely out of control and I feel totally helpless… I’m happy for her and hopefully I will regain my balance soon! I just want my neurology appointment on the 28th to hurry up! I really hope that this new neurologist can do me some good unlike my last two… By the way, that last guy I saw who lied to me about my MRI? Well, I had sent in my formal complaint the other day and I just received a letter informing me that the matter was “under investigation” so we will see what comes of that…
Now, on an unrelated note, I am now officially a private contractor working as a photographer for the Loma Linda patch, a local online newspaper. I had my first assignment yesterday morning taking pictures of the 30th Annual Picnic for Families with Children with Cancer in Riverside. I enjoyed being present at the event and watching all the children have so much fun playing bubbles, tug-of-war, and attempting three-legged races along with several other activities. It really opens your eyes to the fact that no matter what is going on in your life there is always someone else out there who truly has it worse than you. You can click the link below to visit the article and see some of the pictures I snapped of the event. Keep in mind, as a photographer, I typically specialize in portraits and various pictures of nature so I’m a little new to the photojournalism thing!
Anyways before I go I want to share one more thing… I am currently using my voice recognition software again… I have not had to use this in months but typing is simply just too frustrating at the moment and in retrospect it has been affecting the content and quality of my writing as I’ve been cutting corners to compensate for the lack of fine motor control in my left hand… I didn’t want to have to use this anymore but it’s better to suck up a little bit of pride and produce a higher quality of content and better be able to express myself than it is to be frustrated all day and stressed out because I cannot produce what I want to produce. My hand is not the reason alone but also my cognitive impairments… For some reason when I type I just can’t seem to make the words I want to produce appear on the screen… When speaking into this microphone I seem to dictate my thoughts just fine but somewhere between my brain and my fingertips my words get lost, so though this is a sign that my health is moving backwards and not forwards I will at least be able to restore the quality of my blogs.
Thanks for reading!