It’s been a while since I did a progress update as I have been focusing a lot of my time on my photography and working on my little guide for newly diagnosed MS patients which I have still yet to finish do to a strong lack of overall motivation I have been experiencing in the last week or so… I haven’t really been depressed so to say, I have just been without motivation to do anything right now… It’s horrible…
A lot of this has to do with my growing frustrating regarding my current living situation. For those of you who do not know. I live with my parents in a household of 6 people (including myself). I have three younger brothers and this is a 3 bedroom house… So… My parents share one room (obviously), my two youngest brothers share the second room, and my last brother and I share the last room…
The room is about 10’x10′ and after the room is divided in half and then my half is filled with my bed and “desk” I am left with about 9 cubic feet of space… That’s a 3’x3′ amount of space that I spend most of my day in… This obviously is an easy way to go insane, I basically live in a cubical…
What really gets to me though is the lack of privacy I have, something any 20 year old would appreciate to have. I awake everyday to either the sound of yelling as my brothers struggle to get ready for school on time or the sound of my dad waking the brother I share a room with because apparently he does not know how to set an alarm… Though, I don’t know whats better, waking up to the sound of someone else’s alarm or someone knocking on the wall telling my brother to wake up as if I wasn’t in the room as well.
What I would give for my own room! Somwhere I could actually lock myself away for a while, somewhere I could sit and write, or just lay down for a bit without people barging in and out like this was a hallway of some sort. No knocking, no nothing, just barging in and out. This gets on my nerves above all else.
But I really have no right to complain, I am 20 years old, I have no job, and have made no progress towards setting up my life and moving out. I am in someone else’s house and so I have to live by their means of living. So ultimately, what’s REALLY stressing me out is the fact that I can’t do much* to move out any time soon, something I REALLY want right now.
Stress is obviously really bad for MS and should be avoided at all costs to reduce the effects of symptoms. The other night I had no tingling in my body when I tilted my neck down, I was so happy that it seemed to have gone away. Next day I wake up to my family is fighting over school matters and so I start my day in the middle of a stressful situation. That day the tingling came back and it has yet to subside. It’s literally effecting my physical health so I REALLY feel like I need to do something to move out but I’m not sure how to go about this situation.
I’m just about ready to forget about disability and start looking for a job again and just do my best to work despite my current symptoms. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I still haven’t got my money back from the people I bought my DUD car from even after I won in court, so I have been without my own car since July of 2010, kind of hard to get a job and go to school without your own car! Getting sick of trying to work around everyone’s schedule to borrow their cars, it makes everything very limiting. I am really pissed at these people who won’t pay up! They lost fair and square, they lied to me, they owe me my money, they arn’t paying, and they are greatly getting in the way of me progressing in life!
If I didn’t have such horrible balance issues along with reduced vision and cognitive function I would put aside some disability and buy an old motorcycle, fix it up, and use that for now, but I was skeptical to do that BEFORE I had MS so forget that haha! I would walk around town like I used to in highschool but I’m finding I “overheat” really easily and it’s already starting to warm back up where I live… Summer is right around the corner so it will be back to hiding in the house from the heat.
I just wish I could move forward! I wan’t my own space! I want to move out! I have a friend who wants to get a place with me but I have no income so he is stuck in his crappy living conditions as well. ARG!
Anyways, symptom-wise not too much different. Still at a stalemate, light tingling in arms, chest, and spine when I tilt my head down. Balance issues and pretty bad cognitive functions. That’s about it.
Well I guess this was more of a venting session then it was a progress update but hopefully thing will turn around soon so I can be more productive and write about some more positive stuff.
Thanks for reading!