Obviously I have been going through a bit of a rough patch in the last week or so as I always seems to go through when doing my IV treatments. The Solu-Medrol (Steroids) severely effect my mood and makes functioning as a “normal” human being kind of difficult especially when it seems like no one really, truly, understands what I’m dealing with. Its hard for people to understand what they can’t see and the symptoms I am fighting off right now are all mostly invisible with the exception of my behavior but people react to that differently then they do when they see someone having trouble walking or standing which is ironic because in reality most these “invisible” symptoms are much more frustrating then then the more obvious, visible ones…. Sometimes….
My point is, when it’s hard to walk you can literally find someone to lean on but when your emotions are collapsing or simply just out of whack, there is not much to be done but suffer it seems. That seems like a rather foolish, immature response but that’s simply because I have yet to experience anything different… This is why sometimes I just wish I could leave it all behind just for a day. I wonder if I will ever experience that again? One, simple, day where Multiple Sclerosis never crosses my mind, one day where I forget that something is wrong with me, one day where I can feel like I am living a normal life. That’s all I want sometimes is to just not have to think about ANY of it but I can’t seem to get that.
What do I need to change to make this happen?
I don’t know.
I just know I want things to be different.