Ok, so I have just about had it with all this stress and all these mood swings, time to get rid of it all! It’s obvious that Solu-Medrol (IV Steroids) causes some negative effects in me and today I decided to sit down and weigh the pros and cons of taking this medication. I decided that it seems to be causing me more harm then good. The medication is stressing me out which in turn (do to my apparent sensitivity to stress) is just canceling out any positive effects the medication should be having. So in the long run its just causing me more stress and not really reducing my symptoms.
Obviously I have been going through a bit of a rough patch in the last week or so as I always seems to go through when doing my IV treatments. The Solu-Medrol (Steroids) severely effect my mood and makes functioning as a “normal” human being kind of difficult especially when it seems like no one really, truly, understands what I’m dealing with. Its hard for people to understand what they can’t see and the symptoms I am fighting off right now are all mostly invisible with the exception of my behavior but people react to that differently then they do when they see someone having trouble walking or standing which is ironic because in reality most these “invisible” symptoms are much more frustrating then then the more obvious, visible ones…. Sometimes….
Since the beginning of my blog I have been told nothing but good things about my attitude as I do my best to maintain a positive one. I have mentioned just a couple times before that this is not always the case but regardless, I do my best to keep my content positive. However, I would be lying if I said that MS never got to me. That’s an inevitable factor of dealing with such a disease, every once in a while, it will get the best of us. I believe that I do in fact deal with my disease pretty well for the most part when it comes to my mental and emotional well being but last night for example, I did have a bit of a breakdown. I think it’s necessary for me to share this because like everything else I share about my MS experience, it’s just part of the truth and I can’t hide any of that from anyone. It’s important for people to see the contrast that can exist within me otherwise my usual positive attitude really means nothing as I could just be manically optimistic about my life which is definitely not the case: Anyone who personally knows me could vouch for that, it may be hard for my regular readers to believe, but most my friends would consider me to be a pessimist, someone who only sees the bad in life, in society, in people. I agree that I can often be pessimistic but I try my best to maintain a balance of reason, logic, and emotion when it comes to my judgment of the world and the people around me and so I believe it is important to be able to express both optimism and pessimism when necessary. Anyways, to hide part of the truth would be nothing short of manipulating the reality of dealing with Multiple Sclerosis which is what most people really are interested in. The reality of MS.