Alright, I need to update my mental health situation as it seams to be getting worse. Cognitively I have not been doing so well. First it was just poor short term memory, something I have always had problems with that has been getting worse lately. For example, I find it hard to remember who I had certain conversations with, what those conversations were about or if I even really had them or not! I also seam to be running really slow up there in the head, I find myself completely blanking out especially when I’m tired. This is frustrating because I used to be such a “quick thinker”. It’s like there is absolutely nothing going on in my head, I simply read the information my brain is presented with and dispose of it as soon as I have read it. I don’t know, hard to explain.
The most frustrating thing that has popped up can only be explained with an example. When I am writing (typing) I will intend on saying something like “The cat lives in a house” but when I read back what I wrote I will see “The cat doesn’t in a house”. I know exactly what words I want to use and tink I am writing them down but I actually end up writing something completely different down. It’s not even a matter of association as if I wrote dog instead of cat. I will write completely, unrelated, random words down. It’s really weird and driving me nuts!
I of course do have the problem of not being able to “come up with the right words” as I am right now… There is a word I am looking for, I know what it means and how it’s used but I just can’t think of it right now… Ironic… Anyways, I find myself having a hard time explaining certain things because I just blank out on my vocabulary. Very frustrating when you know exactly what it is you want to communicate you just can’t find the words to do so.
What sucks the most about cognitive issues is people can’t see them, they are “invisable symptoms”. I feel for anyone else out there dealing with these kind of issues because you may look healthy but that doesnt mean you feel healthy. I am not sure what can be done about all this but I definitely have some research to do or at east need to talk to a specialist ASAP!
We will see how it all goes!