t’s the end of 2012 and a lot of us are celebrating Christmas or some other holiday but what ever it is doesn’t really matter to me! It’s time to come together and give! Those of us with MS often hear or say “there is always someone else out there who has it worst then you“. This is true but don’t get me wrong, having MS is still hard, but since it’s that time of the year we should all really be thankful for what we do have and try to give all we can or provide what ever kind of help we can to those who are less fortunate then us! We can’t change the entire world, but we can do what ever we can to improve it. Everything makes a difference!
Today I went through all my clothes and put a bunch of older shirts that don’t fit or I don’t wear into a big plastic bad. I then took that bag down the street to the church where two Salvation Army donation bins rests. Someone out there will be glad to get that clothing, someone out there will appreciate the jacket I gave away, it all helps! My life philosophy is a bit like this: Life is like a pond of water, everyone is floating among it. We all cause tiny ripples in this water that spread out and effect different floaters differently. I want to create the largest ripple possible and help everyone in this world that I can and maybe helping them will cause them to help someone else! I don’t want to be famous in life but I do want to have made a difference in the world even if who ever’s life I do end up changing doesn’t realize that it was me or that I even exist!
Well, it’s that time of the year so today I took a day trip up to Big Bear with my friend Cyndi! It was so nice up there! It wasn’t too cold but there was still tuns of fresh snow everywhere! The air was clean, no breeze, and it was dead silent, pure peace, and for someone like me who is sensitive to the heat, paradise. I felt so good up there I wish I could have stayed in that location and time for ever! I think the snow is my favorite form of MS treatment there is!
I’m not kidding, I felt wonderful up there! I felt… HEALTHY. I had energy, I was not in pain, I felt strong, I just felt great! I felt like I could breath and be myself! I don’t know if it was the trees, the clean air, the cold weather, or a little bit of it all! Mountain Magic! I love it! Of course as soon as I came back down to reality my symptoms all settled back in so there must be something to it besides the elevation difference! I know that one day when I can afford it, the mountains will be my home because up there I feel healthy and that makes me happy. I can’t wait for it!
It’s really frustrating right now because everything is so sensitive. I see some improvement and then something causes me to back track. Unfortunately my motor skills are suffering the most right now and I hate that because at least with pins and needles or numbness you can still function OK but when your hands go out it’s hard to take care of business! When your legs grow weak it’s hard to hide the fact that your ill! Of course I can’t help thinking about my desire to have money again, a job, to attack school full blast, etc so these back tracks are extra frustrating because not only am I taking a step away from good health but I am taking a step away from my goals in life and then the stress from that causes my health to take another step back and so the vicious circle begins.
The Prednisone is helping but not immensely… As I mentioned above, my hands are suffering the most. The coordination in my fingers is rather lacking and sometimes they tremor but mostly they feel stiff and slow. I have learned to type decently with them like this, in fact, I am starting to forget what it was like to type smoothly and brake free at all which is good for my sanity but probably bad for other things…