Multiple sclerosis has greatly affected my life in the last five months or so, it has helped me change in so many ways but recently I’ve realized that I need to make something clear. For anyone out there who believes that my MS has caused me to grow calloused and cold, you are wrong. The only thing that has caused me to grow cold is people. People have made me cold, people have formed my calloused emotional state, and people have made me who I am today. MS simply opened my eyes to allow me to see the world more clearly.
I am done trying to please everyone for everyone can not be pleased. I am done being used and I am done stressing out over the emotional well-being of others when they obviously have no regard for mine. I know who my true friends are and I will keep them close because when it comes to dealing with MS, one must surround himself with positive people. So call me a jerk, I don’t care, but I am realizing now who those people are and who I need to separate from my life. Like I said, I am only this cold because of how I have been treated, I have no choice but to do what’s best for me and my health. I don’t like that I have to be this way but I also don’t like being miserable and after all I’ve been through and after all the people I’ve tried to help I think I deserve to not feel like crap everyday.
I can be a really good friend but at this point I am done handing that friendship out to people who can not return it. There are plenty of other people in the world who want that kind of friendship, who need that kind of friendship, and I will save what I have to offer for them. Again, call me a jerk, but I frankly just do not care anymore, I can’t care anymore, I just don’t have the energy.